Couples and Money: How and Why to Get on the Same Page About Debt
- Couples who are aligned about their money and debt can work together more effectively to reach their financial goals.
- Talking about debt could reduce conflict, build greater trust, and help you both unite to create a path toward financial freedom.
- It could be beneficial to schedule money dates, discuss individual and shared goals, and talk about debt compassionately without blame.
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Talking openly about money with your partner could strengthen your relationship and help you feel more confident about your future together. Couples who combine their finances could find discussions about individual and shared personal finance goals actually bring them closer.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier over time. And if you avoid talking about money altogether, you could run up against some challenges, especially when you want to tackle big goals like getting out of credit card debt.
Couples who talk openly and honestly about their money and debt are often better positioned to work together to reach their goals. Here's how and why couples need to get on the same page about debt.
Couples Need to Be on the Same Page About Debt
When couples combine money, both can feel some impact from the other person's choices. The best way to keep your finances harmonious—and your relationship intact—is to make sure you're aligned on spending, saving, and investing your shared money.
Otherwise, it could be more challenging to create a better financial future. Here are a few reasons why it’s a good idea for couples to find some common ground about their money and debt.
You may be working against each other
Staying in sync about money helps avoid unnecessary stress and keeps you both moving toward your shared goal of becoming debt-free.
Let’s say you have credit card debt. If one partner continues using credit cards for purchases you can't pay off, the balances could keep growing instead of shrinking. The high interest rates on credit cards could cause those balances to climb even faster, making it nearly impossible to get rid of the debt.
Ignoring your debt won't make it go away
To keep the peace, you might be tempted to ignore your different approaches to money management. Ignoring your personal finance struggles is unlikely to benefit either of you. The longer you wait to address your debt, the more it could grow. It's best to be honest about the situation and tackle it straight on.
Misaligned priorities could create trust issues
When a couple isn’t aligned on debt management, that could create trust issues. One partner may feel resentful because they feel they're the only one making an effort to improve the shared personal finance situation.
Not being able to get on the same page as a couple could also lead one partner to become secretive about their spending—and that could create more money and relationship stress.
When you’re both open and honest, it’s easier to create a plan that enables both of you to work together toward your shared financial goals.
Some Tips to Get on the Same Page About Debt
Many couples have worked out ways to discuss finances and create plans for their future together. Here are some suggestions to get you on the same page about debt.
Get more comfortable talking about money
Many people are uncomfortable discussing money, even with their partner. Talking about money is a must if you're a couple who combines finances.
Start having money talks so you both feel more at ease. After a few sessions, you’ll probably find it easier even if it feels a little awkward to start. Schedule regular money dates on your calendar to sit down together and talk about money.
Each person should feel heard and be able to share their goals
Both of you should feel the other person is listening. When you discuss money as a couple, make sure you both have a chance to speak and share thoughts and reasoning.
Since you share money, you both deserve a say in how it's managed. As you talk, share your individual goals and then collaborate to outline joint goals.
Avoid blame and instead focus on how to get rid of debt
The best way to talk about debt is without shame or blame. Focus on how the two of you can move forward together. A blame-free approach will generally help you both feel more united in your quest to tackle your debt.
Work Together to Outline a Debt Repayment Plan
Once you both acknowledge your debt and are ready to work together, you can make a debt repayment plan. When you know the steps needed to achieve debt relief, it could help you take action together. Getting credit card debt relief could include many options.
Here are a few solutions to explore:
Debt consolidation. Consolidating your debt could make your monthly repayments more affordable and save on interest costs.
Debt settlement. Negotiating with your creditors to accept less than the amount you owe could help you become debt-free sooner than making minimum payments.
Debt management. A debt management plan (DMP) could work if you can afford your debts but need help getting on track. You'll work with a credit counselor to outline a customized DMP. Most DMPs take three to five years to complete.
Unite to Create a Path to Financial Freedom
Stay hopeful. Your current financial situation isn't forever; debt relief is possible—and you'll have more success if you're united. Couples who band together to reach their money and debt goals are more likely to achieve financial freedom.
Need help managing your debt as a couple? A debt relief company could help you understand your options. Let an expert guide you toward a life without debt.
Author Information
Written by
Natasha Etzel
Natasha is a contributing writer for Freedom Debt Relief. She is a veteran professional financial writer. She provides realistic strategies to help readers improve their knowledge and change their financial situations.
Reviewed by
Kimberly Rotter
Kimberly Rotter is a financial counselor and consumer credit expert who helps people with average or low incomes discover how to create wealth and opportunities. She’s a veteran writer and editor who has spent more than 30 years creating thousands of hours of educational content in every possible format.
How much total debt is too much?
This depends on your situation. Ideally, you should be using a low percentage of your available credit (under 30% at most). Also, your debt payments should not take up too much of your gross monthly income—no more than 43%—and of course, lower is better.
Why is it important for couples to talk about money?
Keeping financial matters open and aboveboard helps reduce uncertainty. Couples who talk about money could experience less conflict, feel more comfortable discussing financial concerns that arise, and work together more successfully to create the financial future they want.
How do I talk to my partner about their spending habits?
When talking to your partner about their spending habits, be compassionate and avoid blame. Let them share how they feel. It may be helpful to discuss the financial benefits that could result from making changes. Remind them that you still love and care about them and that you're committed to your shared financial wellness.